RANCH

This Is America

Ranch is truly The Flavor of America™. With its thick, creamy texture and ruthlessly tangy, zesty flavor, no other condiment represents the American palate better. Almost offensive in its inoffensiveness, Ranch is ubiquitously present in every American restaurant, household, and glovebox, yet has been untouched by modern American food delivery technologies. This is a fully vertically integrated cogitation on how The Flavor of America™ can not merely coalesce with, but advance the Modern American Dining Experience™.

Who Is America

To understand the American consumer, we place ourselves, with great empathy, into the mind of our user—Trevor. Who is Trevor? He is, through his >30 BMI sack of corn-fed human flesh, the physical manifestation of Ranch. It is Trevor who will guide us throughout this process as our bright, white, zesty North Star.

Originally hailing from the all-American hamlet of What Cheer, Iowa, Trevor grew up eating Ranch. Now living the big city life in Cedar Rapids, Trevor craves his mother's heavy Ranch hand, which the tightly rationed ramekins at his local B-Dubbz simply aren't fulfilling, figuratively and literally. At the same time, working as the assistant copier and printer tech for the third-largest printing solutions provider in the Greater Cedar Rapids metro area has made him a maven of modern technology. RANCH is the confluence of classic American flavor and technologically advanced industry he doesn't even know he's been yearning for.

Marketing America

A brand representing the ne plus ultra of both American flavor and industry needs to have an identity befitting such a grand standing. The RANCH brand evokes America's golden age of the 1970s, an economic and cultural period every American longs for the return of, through its real classy typefaces and colors.

Ranch has a long and storied history as the muse of modern American culture. RANCH leverages this rich history of American tastemaking with a highly researched, tactically sophisticated advertising and PR marketing strategy targeting discerning Americans through fine art, pop culture, and mass media.

With a deep, diverse network of affiliated, devoted influencers from micro to mega, RANCH has a corporate marketing and PR reach the envy of the biggest multinational entities. From Karen McWillis, the top LuLaRoe Fashion Consultant in all of Tainter Lake, Wisconsin, to Shaggy 2 Dope, founding member of one of the world's most renowned musical groups, RANCH has no shortage of brand prophets in the world of social influence.

Verticalizing Ranch

RANCH features cutting edge technology to provide Americans with the dining experience it truly desires – minimal human interaction, maximal Ranch consumption. With its endless fried provisions, invigoratingly effervescent beverages, and countless self-serve taps of more Ranches than you can shake a celery stick at, RANCH provides the first truly seminal Modern American Dining Experience™ of the 21st Century.

Trevor often knows he wants Ranch, but is sometimes unsure of the Applied Ranch Specifics and Executions concerning his Ranch. After years of research and development in our underground Santa Ynez laboratories, we have created the first userflow defining the archetypal Ranch consumption experience, providing everyone with an easy-to-follow path to maximum ARSE fulfillment.

As convenient and lucrative the Ranch delivery and takeout industry is, ultimately the urbane, worldly Ranch cognoscenti of suburban Middle America need a highly engaging and stimulating physical relationship with their Ranch to feel their Ranch proclivities have truly been intellectually and emotionally fulfilled. With our 700 and counting beautiful, Lance Bass-designed brick-and-mortar RANCH Experience™ locations, Ranch connoiseurs from Rapid City to Huntsville can finally fully satiate their Ranch desires and needs.

Designing America

The residents of Middle America are renowned for their sophisticated sense of style. The home of countless groundbreaking design icons such as the Mitchell Corn Palace and World's Largest Ball of Twine, nothing less than a refined, polished, award-winning user experience will suffice for this demandingly discriminating audience.

With a vibrant, colorful palette for the digital interface to complement the luxuriously creamy palette of the physical product, the RANCH brand identity design system aptly represents American society through its digital manifestation of the appropriation of the superficial to imbue an affectation of flavor to the cursorily banal, yet deeply, thoroughly rapacious foundation of patriarchal capitalism. It is only upon acceptance of this corporate lifeblood that one can truly sell Ranch and Ranch-flavored condiments to the American people.

Such an overwhelming array of tantalizingly tasty choices would normally bring about an unwieldy, confusing digital user experience. But thanks to our crack team of hundreds of UX designers and researchers from such storied, award-winning internal design studios as The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Karz 4 Kidz, and Pfizer, RANCH features a seamless, fluid experience combining the visual appeal of our colorful melting pot of a design system with the taste appeal of our fried and viscous gastronomic offerings.

Now that our structural design foundations have been formed, we are free to populate and refine our product with our carefully concocted and curated culinary portfolio. Ranging from deep fried cheese to deeper fried cheese, our epicurean delights also need to be paired with the finest beverages America offers—everything from Bud Light to Miller Lite. And it's all right under the fingertips atop the greased up, cracked screens of Middle America's phones, easier to access than ever before.

JULIUS

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